Big joke

Yes, it must be a great joke.

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Thursday night, A texted me and wanted to talk to me about his problem. Well, it's basic my history replay. I advised him trying to avoid contact with each other. The next morning, I left a message on my Facebook wall for him(though many friends thought it's for myself).

It seems to be so easy to solve if it's someone else's problem. Totally!

God put me in test that day right after my words.

I checked my mail box after sending A home. Shit, i saw a notice with D.M's name on it. I put it back to the mail box, trying to ignoring it. Grrr, I can't. It looked kinda important. It's from immigration department. Ok, fine! I unlocked the mail box and take it out.

But I don't want to text him or what... Ok, I guess I still remember where he lives, though I never know if he moved to other place or what. Anyway, just go.

Ok, it looked like his style, placing shoes outside. And two pairs of slippers, in different sizes. My heart freezed for a moment. Its not my business anymore, but I did love D before, so everything related could affect my feeling.

Walking away fast like fleeing.

Well, everything will stay the same tomorrow, I hope. Maybe he moved and the mail would be returned to me, or he just take it without thinking too much. Everything will stay the same, right?

NO, it got worse.

The next day, seemed peaceful. No thank you msg from my mobile. Cool. And I forgot everything.

God did not forget though.....

After busy day, I checked my personal mails from mobile in the bus. Its a busy night, gotta get things from ikea for my sis-in-law.

A mail with a familiar sender: D.M. . I quitted the mail right away like I'm avoidin him. Ok, he still lives there. And it's just a thank you mail. Nothing more, ok, gab?!

I clicked mail again, and read that mail from him. Basically, he thanked me and explain again he didn't know how to alter the address from the school system. And again, like last time, he mentioned we should catch up sometime(cliche, D said that like half years ago, and not a call or text to say he is available), oh , new information: he is leaving Taiwan in two months! Good. I'm leaving Taipei in 2 months as well. I do miss you, D, but I know I would not be happy after I meet you. You did nothing wrong, but my mind would kill myself.

I replied politely said: it's nothing. No worries. And good luck(somehow I feel the "good luck" sounds a bit mean here)

And damn , I added " I'm leaving Taipei in two months as well". WTF did I add this? What were I expecting?

Anyway, what was sent was sent.

I dropped the bus and walked into ikea. Quick got things I need and leave.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...........

D walked towards me with surprised face. He was with a friend. No where to run or hide. I nodded and smile goodbye. Not even a word from both.

My heart stopped again coz all the memory flushed back.

God, you must be joking.

10 seconds ruined my whole night mood.

I know my eyes were wet a bit. I did and do miss him. And the heart-breaking part is, he didn't miss me or care. So many things I wanted to share. Calm down, gab.

I checked mails whole night, he didn't reply. Good, what kind of "let's catch up" is his. Anyway, I always know it's me poisoning our friendship, coz I couldn't really give up. It's all me, my fault.

Wanted to chat with someone, but seems no one is my perfect audience now. Anyway, I have to repair myself on my own. Time will help.

That's call it a day, ok? No more joke or test for me, please!

G.



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