Me, now

So many things happened these days, good and bad. I'm OK. No worries.

I'm OK. At least I told myself so and most of people surrounding me think so.

Not really. I'm nervous. Nervous about my future.
I am not sure if it's a good idea for me to quit the farm job and stay in Melbourne. I know I have almost no problem with the language, but I don't really know if I can get a decent job in the city. But that's why I'm here, isn't it? I am here to experience if I could manage to live and work in a foreign country. I'm not here just to experience life in Australia or make a lot of money here. I'm not satisfied with working in the farm. After all, that's not my career plan. I don't want to stay in Taiwan working like a robot or staying at family business(sorry, dad, I just don't think that's my road).
However, it's so obvious that city jobs are not that available for backpackers, not to mention decent jobs are pretty limited as well. I guess I really need to try, and try very hard.

Not really. I feel lonely.
I have friends here, but not the best friends. I really miss my life with my best friends, having brunch, chat, hanging around, seeing movies... Now I pretty much do things alone here... The worst thing is I am not the kind of people standing the solitude. But I chose to be like this. I could have been together with my friends, but I did not. And now, almost every good friend of mine has their best someone. I feel like a "odd number" again. Well, I'm usually bad luck with the men I like, gay, or any men. All I can do now is trying to cut off all the romantic thoughts or anything romantic from my mind, and telling myself don't expect anything happening here. So I can feel better, I guess.

Well, ...that's all I want to say now.